Truth, lies, gossip, slander – where is the line crossed?
When I was in elementary school, we had a theme day about morals and ethics. There was much talk about what is acceptable and what is not. What sat deepest was a game we played where we all students sat in a circle on the floor and the teacher began to whisper something in a student’s ear. This was then sent on from ear to ear. When it passed the whole circle and reached the last student to repeat what he / she heard and then the first student said what he had heard. It was unbelievable how what was originally said had changed in that way, it could not be compare with what was originally said. We made this ring several times and not once did the end match the beginning and on some occasions, even the name had changed completely.
The teachers wanted to show us how information changes and rumours arise. It was a good lesson because I still remember it so clearly.
I have often had cause to reflect on how and why this happens. I myself am very careful with gossip and prefer to seek the truth from the source.
With today’s information bombardment through the mass media and internet, it is extremely difficult to know what the truth is. Information is distorted, selected portions taken out of context and altered until it fits the communicator’s purpose.
An example is a rumour that affected very many Turks to the point of despair. A very much loved megastar in Turkey was said to have died suddenly and it spread like wildfire. The man, however, was very much alive and had to make an announcement in the media to calm his fans down. Why? What was the purpose of this, he wondered, as I did too?
It is clear how dangerous it is when so-called credible sources speak. What they say is apparently infallible truth. Whether the subject is based on ignorance, sensationalism, or cut a bit out of context to sway in a particular direction in order to emphasize his “expert” status, the result can be devastating and it can destroy a person, family or company.
In the financial world it may be a negative rumour concerning reputation, which may be completely untrue, which could result in destroying a business, causing many to lose their jobs and their ability to support themselves. In other words, the consequence can be devastating and spread like ripples on the water with a great many sufferers.
A private person may be ostracized, stamped not credible or even worse. In school, a sweet, well-developed girl who turns down a guy and in pure revenge being called whore and eventually getting a growing reputation with all sorts of things being written about her. This is label which is extremely difficult to get rid of. No smoke without fire is a common saying. If the girl is not very strong in herself, this can crack her completely. In school it is called bullying and has led many young people into a dark world of anorexia, bulimia, substance abuse and suicide.
What then is the difference between bullying and gossip / slander? Bullying is open while the gossip and slander is more subtle. It happens behind your back and it usually takes a long time till it is exposed. Most likely is that you notice that the “friends” disappear and acquaintances stop making contact. The shape is different, but the pain is equal.
A few months ago I summoned my water aerobics group to plan the summer schedule. On the appointed day I was surprised to find only a few people turned up. When asked what had happened their reply was that many felt that the doubling of the price was too much. I was very surprised when I knew that I had not spoken with anyone from the group about any price changes and I definitely did not have that intention. After clarification, both verbally and via e-mail the problem was sorted, but if the person who informed me about the rumour didn’t step forward and had kept silent, I would have lost all my income, which would have been a disaster. Where did the information come from, I have not been able to find out and I don’t think I ever will, nor will I know what the purpose was behind this rumour.
The line between gossip, slander and untruth is basically non-existent. Whether disinformation’s aim is that everyone has the right to “know” or to make life more exciting for bored people, the foundation is always jealousy, ill will, disappointment, self-assertive or sensationalism.
Why this happens, I cannot answer, but question the reason when you read or hear the “truth”. Check on several fronts and then you will be far closer to reality.